We celebrated Cotton’s 7th birthday yesterday!
The restaurant staff wanted to make a party so they ordered a custom piñata from a lady in the nearby village. It was so cool to look at once it had been busted up… there were rolled up pages of homework in the “shell” of the piñata! Nothing goes to waste!
The cooks made the most delicious banana cake and nacho platters to share around… we had workers, and neighbours join us too. One other, uninvited member of the party named Jose, a little guy who we didn’t know, hung around all day and invited himself to the party. Once the candy started falling from the piñata he shamelessly took most of it, while our little kids looked on from the sidelines wondering what was going on – sort of “deer in headlights”.
It was an interesting moment, one I wasn’t entirely sure how to navigate, because, if truth be told, I didn’t really want the kids to eat much candy, and yet there’s a natural sense of justice that is important too. Anyway, it was an interesting moment, and we all recovered from it, though Jose did take very, very full pockets of candy home after eating lots of cake… he won in the end due to my inability to speak his language!
Later, however, I talked with the children about the poverty this little boy is growing up in, and how this would have seemed like a meaningful windfall in his small world. We are learning to flex and share and respect in all sorts of nuanced ways, even as we attempt to discern important boundaries and appropriate interpersonal limits, etc. (For example, we decided that next time we have a piñata, we will do it close to our home on the private side of the property, not in the public restaurant side!)
The party was a very joyful time.
There is nothing you want to buy here and I am determined to accumulate as little as possible, so we told Cotton that the whole family would be giving her coupons that she could use over the next few weeks. She was thrilled… she got “gifts” such as a private walk on the beach to collect shells and make crafts with them (Sunny), a free surfing lesson (Ben – interesting, as he himself does not yet know how to surf), an art lesson (Tucker), 5 card games (Auden), a back massage (Mommy)…
…she said it was her best birthday ever (even with no gifts and a little guy who stole most of her candy!
This precious girl, who was SO afraid to go on another plane, but was so brave anyway, is so happy to be here. She felt cherished and celebrated by new friends and thought it was the best day. Her tender spirit, acute observations, clever wit, and understated presence are such a gift in our family.
I am so thankful for the gracious way she eased into a new kind of non-commercial birthday routine. This moment also created a new set point of birthday expectations for the other children, and I commend her willingness to be flexible and open at a time when so much is new.
It was a great, great day!
