As frightening as we must all be imagining Norman’s current position to be, he was taking it rather well. He and the two other waffles had discussed their situation and figured that Norman must have been accidentally mistaken for Norm Waffle, the famous Astrowaffle.
The two other waffles, named Frinty and Mugber, were friendly and kind and helped him feel as relaxed as possible. Mugber explained the controls of the spacewaffle and told Norman the details of their mission. Frinty taught him some Astrowaffle songs and told him how excited she was about being the first real successful moon landing in all history! Listening to Frinty made Norman very excited. He liked Mugber: the old waffle was a little gruff but still very kind. Frinty, who was Mugber’s niece, was very friendly and talkative. They spent a long time chatting about everything.
They were still talking (about their prefered thicknesses of maple syrup and prefered whippednesses of whipped cream) when they got a phone call on their spacewaffle’s built-in landline. Mugber picked up the phone.
“Hello, Mugber Waffle the Astrowaffle here.” He said. A deep, strong voice answered from the other side.
“Hey, Mugber. Norm here.” Frinty and Mugber looked at each other, then to Norman, then to the phone.
“Norm,” Said Frinty, sadly. “You missed takeoff…”
“I know.” Came Norm’s voice over the speaker.
“I’m so sorry, Norm.” Continued Frinty, “There was a mix-up. They found another Norm, well, Norman. They thought he was you. I’m so sorry.”
“Mmm.” Norm agreed in a mellow tone.
“Well,” he went on, suddenly cheerful, “these things happen every day! No need to feel down.” Frinty and Mugber looked at each other again, confused. Mugber leaned towards the microphone,
“You sound rather happy, Norm. I see you’re taking this well. But-” Mugber paused, then continued, “aren’t you at all disappointed?” Norm sighed loudly through the phone, “I have something to say.” Norman, Frinty and Mugber leaned forward in expectation. Norm went on,
“I… am afraid of heights.” Frinty and Mugber gasped. Norman looked at them confusedly.
“It all makes sense now!” Exclaimed Frinty.
“What does?” Asked Norm and Norman at the same time. Frinty went on,
“Norm, you used to be so happy all the time, but in the days before the launch, you were so grumpy.”
“Yes.” Norm agreed, “I was terrified. When the countdown started, I hid in the janitorial closet.”
“Oh, Norm!” Cried Frinty, “That must’ve been awful!”
“Yes.” Norm concurred, “It was. I still have a bruise on my toe where the mop fell on it.” Mugber nodded sagely. Frinty ducked her head, wiping a tear from her eye.
“But let’s look on the bright side!” Norm said brightly. “I no longer have to face my fear of heights, and this Norman I hear about will now get to have the experience of a lifetime!” Everyone laughed and agreed. Shortly after, they finished up the phone call, everyone feeling happy and relieved.
A couple of hours later, a warning light on the control panel came on saying: “You will be landing in 10 seconds”, and they did. It was all so fast and sudden that Norman didn’t have much time to think anything other than: “We’re landing in 10 seconds!” And they did!
Now that they were landed safely on the moon, Norman helped Frinty and Mugber prepare the moonwalking suits. They checked all the buttons and hooks and ties, then climbed into them and fastened all the aforementioned buttons, hooks and ties securely and soundly. They were ready to moonwalk.
The bulky spacewaffle door rose slowly and Norman, Frinty and Mugber, side by side, stepped out onto the ramp that led to the moon. The sight they saw chased any romantic thoughts of moonwalking out of their minds. A weird and terrible landscape spread before them. One that never in their wildest dreams could they have imagined.
Massive neon green mountains glowed ominously on the horizon. A dense forest hugged the lower sides of the mountains and stretched for miles around it. A river wound out of the vegetation and emptied into an immense lake. The water (if that’s what it was) was blacker than a thrice-burnt black bean and thicker than maple syrup on a rainy autumn evening.
The lake reached from the edge of the forest to the very ramp on which our three waffle friends were standing.
“This,” said Mugber, “Is not…”
“The moon.” Frinty finished in disbelief. Norman looked back and forth at his two new friends.
“What do you mean?” He asked, “Where are we?” Mugber shrugged. Frinty just stood there, staring at the strange and horrifying scenery. Frinty and Mugber then shook their heads in unison and turned to each other.
“There must have been a mistake somewhere.” Said Frinty.
“Something has gone terribly wrong.” Agreed Mugber. “We should go back into the spacewaffle until we get things figured out. We’ll be safe in there. We don’t know what kind of danger we could run into out here.”
Mugber and Frinty turned and walked back through the door, motioning Norman to join them. But Norman was mesmerized by the black water silently lapping against the end of the ramp. He knelt slowly, reaching out his hand to touch it. Frinty turned to call him back. She let out a cry of warning instead.
“Norman! Watch out!” Norman looked up and saw a large group of big, flat circles sprinting toward him. He could only guess what they were: the wild pancakes of the mountains of Froblignor.
Several of the pancakes grabbed him and started dragging him hurriedly away from the spacewaffle. Norman had only read made-up stories about the pancakes of Froblignor, but now he knew where they were. He knew that if he were to die, at least he might help the world in this one way. For years, Waffles had been looking for the fabled land of savage pancakes called Froblignor.
Norman shouted at the top of his lungs,
“IT’S FROBLIGNOR!!!!! WE ARE AT FROBLIGNOR!!!!”
Norman saw Mugber pulling Frinty back to safety in the spacewaffle. The door closed as dozens of spears from the savage pancakes ricocheted off the spacewaffle’s sides. He hoped they had heard him.
Norman was lifted roughly onto a dark boat. Paddles dipped and lifted, speeding the vessel that bore him towards the strange forest ahead. Norman thought about his life, he had spent it well. This was a fitting end. He would miss his family and Mugber and Frinty, but he hoped his family would continue with his surprise party anyway and that Mugber and Frinty would get home safely. He was thinking of these things when the boat entered into the shadow of the trees. Norman’s world went black.
After waiting for 3 days, Frinty and Mugber were running out of food and hope.
“Frinty,” Mugber said, “We must go back.” Frinty tearfully shook her head.
“But… Norman…” She said sadly. Mugber gently touched her shoulder.
“It’s too late. There’s nothing we could have done.” He comforted her.
“Oh, uncle!” Frinty cried, throwing her arms around him and crying.
The next day, Frinty and Mugber launched the spacewaffle and headed for home.
The End.
Okay, I’m just kidding, there’s a part 3, don’t worry!
