Once upon a time, there was a waffle named Norman. Norman had had a fairly average childhood and was just about to turn five days old. Five is a big birthday for waffles, as it marks the beginning of being an adult, Norman was very excited. But it was still only his fourth birthday, and his family wanted him out of the house because, they told him, they were setting up for his surprise birthday party.
Norman loved surprise parties, so when his family told him they were going to have one for him, he was glad to leave to let them prepare. He walked out the front door of their little waffle house, hopped on his waffle board, and sped down the street.
As he raced along, Norman thought joyfully about his surprise birthday party, his family had told him the whole plan. First, he would walk in the door and be confused because no one was there. Second, everyone would jump from their hiding places and yell “surprise!” and third, there would be blueberry fights, swimming in their maple syrup pool, bouncing on the whipped cream castle and so much more! Norman’s favourite part was the second part because that was the part that made it a surprise party, but he liked the first and third parts too because, without all three, it just wouldn’t work. You see, each word in the phrase “a surprise party” stood for one of the steps. “Party” stood for the party part, “surprise” stood for the part where everyone yelled “Surprise!”, and “a” stood for the part where he confusedly walked in the door and said “uhh…”. It was all so exciting, Norman just couldn’t wait!
Since Norman was thinking so hard about his birthday, he wasn’t thinking about where he was going, and he crashed into the side of a big building.
Thankfully, he and his waffle board were unhurt, but the building was severely crumbled. He got up off the ground and gently touched the building. The whole wall fell to the ground.
“Oh no…” he said, knowing that although waffle cone walls were not very sturdy or weather-resistant and not very good for just about anything, they were very expensive and all the richest waffles were spending fortunes getting their houses and palaces built from them.
Norman was very concerned and he began searching the street to see if anyone was there who knew what he could do about the fallen wall. Suddenly, from behind him, he heard a worried voice:
“Norm? Norman Waffle? Is that you?” Norman turned around and faced the voice.
Now, Norman had only ever been called “Norm” by his great-great-uncle’s best friend’s dentist’s favourite actor’s second cousin’s great-granddaughter’s best friend’s aunt’s son’s uncle, whom he had met just once. But since his full name was Norman Waffle, he assumed it was himself who was being spoken to, and then the waffle who was doing the speaking must be his great-great-uncle’s best-friend’s dentist’s favourite actor’s second cousin’s great-granddaughter’s best-friend’s aunt’s son’s uncle, and since all waffles look pretty much exactly the same, there was nothing to warn him that this waffle was, in fact, nothing close to his great-great-uncle’s best-friend’s dentist’s favourite actor’s second cousin’s great-granddaughter’s best-friend’s aunt’s son’s uncle.
“Yes, that’s me” Norman replied, “I’m really, really sorry about the wall, I was—” he was interrupted by the other waffle grabbing him by the hand and pulling him quickly towards a large building nearby.
“No worries, Norm, no worries. We’ll deal with that later. It’s five minutes ’till launch! We’ve got to get you ready!”
Norman was now very confused, this waffle seemed more familiar with him than most people’s great-great-uncle’s best-friend’s dentist’s favourite actor’s second cousin’s great-granddaughter’s best-friend’s aunt’s son’s uncles are. But Norman was patient and unworried, especially because the other waffle had said the wall would be taken care of, Norman was, in fact, very relieved.
The waffle hurried him into the building and a group of strange waffles surrounded him, dressed him in a big waffle suit, rushed him up a huge flight of stairs, through a tiny doorway, and buckled him into a puffy white seat. Norman had barely had time to think while all of this was happening, and the one thing he had noticed was a loud voice slowly counting down from twenty.
When he was finally buckled securely in the seat, he took the time to look around and saw a bunch of buttons and dials and numbers, and two other waffle suits similarly strapped into seats like himself.
Now Norman was thoroughly confused, and he decided to sing a little song to calm his mind:
“I am a waffle and a waffle am I, I am not a pickle nor an apple pie, nor a soggy bagel nor a crisp french-fry, I do not swim, and I also do not fly, for I’m a waffle and a waffle am I.”
Just as he sang the last note, he heard a friendly voice giggle from beside him,
“I didn’t know you sang, Norm, would you teach me your song? I love it!” Norman started and looked around,
“Where are you?” He whispered into the silence.
“Right beside you!” The cheery voice came again. Norman repeated his search of the little room, then jumped as one of the waffle suits’ arms lifted and waved.
“Hahaha!” The suit laughed sweetly, “you’re in a strangely good humour today, Norm!”
Before Norman could reply, the countdown ended and a frighteningly loud noise exploded all around them. Then there was a terrifying sensation of shaking and banging and rattling and moving very fast. For a couple of minutes that felt like days, the shaking continued, then it stopped and everything was quiet and calm.
The other two suits cheered loudly and high-fived each other, but Norman was very confused.
“I don’t understand,” he said, “what just happened?” The other two suits looked at him worriedly,
“Are you feeling alright Norm?” Norman shook his head,
“That’s another thing, everyone here keeps calling me Norm, but up until this day, I have only ever been called Norm by my great-great-uncle’s best friend’s dentist’s favourite actor’s second cousin’s great-granddaughter’s best-friend’s aunt’s son’s uncle. Everyone else calls me Norman!”
Now it was the two waffle suits’ turns to be confused,
“You’re not Norm Waffle?” One of them asked, Norman shook his head again,
“I’m Norman Waffle, I’m turning five tomorrow and my family is making a surprise birthday party for me right now.” The two waffle suits sat in shocked silence. One of them mumbled, “how did this happen?” The other put a hand on his shoulder and said:
“Norman, you’re going to have to stay calm, okay?” Norman nodded. The suit continued, “We’re very far away from your waffle house now, we just took off in a spacewaffle… Norman, we’re on our way to the moon.”
Norman’s eyes grew wide as everything fell into place in his mind.
Part 2 coming soon!
